Who am I ?

Who am I ?

Who am I when I’m not creating something

When I don’t draw
When I don’t take pictures
When I don’t take videos
When I don’t do something
When I don’t write

Who am I when I have nothing to prouve to anyone
Who am I when no one is waiting for me
Who am I when no one as expecting anything from me
Who am I when I talk to no one
Who am I when I have nothing
Who am I when I have no clothes
No home
No house furniture

Who am I when I don’t «have »
Who am I when I don’t «do »

Who am I ?

What it’s look like to exist ?
To be ?

How is it ?

who am I when I’m not an artist
When I’m not a girl who share her life on social media
When I’m not a girl who likes this or that

Who am I ?

Who am I ?

Who am i when I’m not describing myself by the old version of me
When I don’t describe me based on something I was
Something I knew I was

Who am I now ?

No one

I’m me

Who is me ?

A soul here
Someone here to live

Experiment life


Feel alive

All I want is to feel alive

I feel I’m not “here” in the place I’m living right now

Where am I so ?

I don’t know

I can’t think of a place to be
Like I can’t visualize something where I will live for a long time

I can’t see anything

I don’t feel here
But I don’t feel I want to go somewhere or a place is calling me

I’m nothing
No one
Doing nothing

I don’t feel to create something
I don’t feel to move somewhere
I don’t feel to do anything

Just writing what I feel now
This is the only thing that’s here

The only things who stay is this

Writing what I feel

Putting some words on this

My bedroom is almost empty

Stuff are in bags or boxes
Like I was moving
Like I was already somewhere else
Like I don’t live here

I’m not here
I don’t live here
I don’t feel that I’m living

I feel I’m preparing something

Like I built something while I put everything away

I built something while I’m burning everything

I still have clothes because I can’t go out naked but even those don’t look
like me

Now I’m no one

I don’t feel something special about feeling that I’m no one.
I’m just like I don’t know how to describe this
I am.

Like I don’t feel something

I’m not sad about letting everything behind me
I’m not scared about what can happened

For now I’m now
And I kinda feel nothing

It’s like I’m burning and killing the old version of me, no, she’s already dead
but it’s like now I let her goes

Like I feel I’m in between now

Between burning and letting go the old version of me and building the new me

So for now I’m nothing

I’m not a writer, I’m not an artist, I’m not writing a book, not travelling,
not selling something, I’m not studying, I’m not working somewhere, I’m not

I have no post-it to put on my forehead.

I have no box to fit into

I have nothing to relate to.
No one

The void,

I have a few things to let go
Still have to make space

I need to go at this point

The emptiness
The void

And see what’s left.

Have the space for new things.
New space, new experiences, new people, new, new.
Fresh !

I threw old fruits in trash.
To finally have nothing to eat.

And appreciate the new fresh fruits, to love all the juice and sweetness of

September 15, 00:53

The other day a guy asked me
«are you from here ? Paris »
I answered yes
But after I think of this and I was like hmmm no, I’m not from Paris, I’m not from somewhere. 

I’m not here, not from here.

I’m here and everywhere else at the same time.

I don’t feel that I have a home, a home who feels like home.

I don’t know if I’m able to feel at home somewhere. Like a physical place.

When I’m somewhere, 
I feel I’m here for a time 

And when I feel that my time is not counted I feel that I’m stuck.
I start feeling argh.
Feeling that I’m not moving, that things are not moving.

This is uncomfortable for me.

Having a routine, waking up in the same place everyday, sleeping in the same
place everyday. And knowing that it’s not going to change makes me feel that
I’m not living.

I need to move.
Not moving fast.
But moving.
Taking the time to live each moment.
But moving.

When things are here for an undefined time I don’t appreciate them as much as I can.

When I’m somewhere and I don’t know for how long I will stay I start feeling
like I let myself dying a bit.
Like not living as full as I could.

Let myself live but not as much as I can live.
In French we say « vivoter » I don’t know if there’s a word for this.
It’s like living but not intensely, kind of surviving. For me this is my
meaning of this word.

I need to feel movement of life.
I need to feel that I’m really living and not « vivoting »

I don’t want things to go fast and don’t have time to appreciate them. But I
want to feel in movement
Feel life in my body.
Feel the energy of life in my body.